i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
