i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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