apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
