I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
