so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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