i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
