We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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