ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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