the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
