This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
