My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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