The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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