I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
