theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
