you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize