normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
