Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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