last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Damn victory sex feels great
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
