i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
