the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
