I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
