Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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