Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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