C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
