Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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