You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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