I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
