no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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