I wish I could punch you in the face.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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