garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
