I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
