you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
