Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
