Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize