My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
