actually, I'm a sock model
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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