Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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