She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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