They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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