K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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