Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
