It was confusing and full of hummus
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
