I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
