how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
