C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
