It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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