I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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