What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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