Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize