she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She bit a glass in half.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Randomize