Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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