How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
