The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
