She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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