When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
