The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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