I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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