Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
