oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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