No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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