You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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