Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
