he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
