Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
