I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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