why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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