the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
