just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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