How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
