just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize