i don't like sucking hair
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
